AKA: Jessica Emberton

You know all those Bubblegum cards, with tag-lines like “Crazy Moo” and “Totally Bleedin’ Mental”? They’re all for Jess.

In fact, we’d probably need a 7-foot placard with “Dribbling Mash Potatoes Off Her Space Hopper” to capture just how delightfully insane Jess truly is. Oh yes.

And yet Jessica manages to balance her degree in English literature with copious amounts of alcohol. Perhaps the questions her degree frequently pose explain why she’s gone so postal:

"...its narrative strategies and tone (e.g. exposure of the unacknowledged historical decline of the authority of traditional social institutions and cultural models; the critique of the complacent unexamined convictions and normative values of the bourgeoisie)..."(From an actual assignment)

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